Violation?

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart. In a miracle of miracles I was able to walk out with only a package of dental floss. This has never happened to me before. My measly purchase came to a grand total of $0.96. I handed over my dollar, thinking of where I could go next to spend the money I didn't end up spending at Wal-Mart. I had my wallet's change pocket unzipped and my hand open, ready to receive my change, when the clerk reached over my hand and placed my 4 cents directly into my wallet. This is weird, right? I should feel violated? Because I did. I laughed uncomfortably and answered no, I did not need a bag and left. This seems like something they should address in Wal-Mart etiquette.

Dental Orneriness

I was at the dentist earlier this week. I love my dentist and the dental hygienists who work there. One of the nice things about this place is that they give you the suction device to hold, so that you aren't sitting there, drowning in your own spit. But, let me ask you this...have you ever thought about, when their face is directly above yours and you're holding that suction, just sticking it to their face? Right up their nose? In their ear? I did. Think about it that is. I guess that's what happens when you go to the dentist after working with 12-year-olds all day long.

Words of Encouragement

I found this post-it in my pocket. Not sure where it came from or who wrote it, but I'm glad we are in agreement.

Making Something Out of Nothing

I babysit every Friday at Jazzercise. Doing so allows me to get my Jazzercise classes for free. Normally I only have two kids and they are very self-sufficient with the occasional sibling quarrel.

Yesterday I showed up and their mother, the instructor, said, "Good luck with that babysitting room." Hmmm. I entered the room and, you can see from the picture, good luck indeed.

They are remodeling our center and in the process, removed every single toy from the babysitting room. I guess they forgot that there was just the one more class before the weekend? Or maybe they just didn't care.

Luckily I only had the two kids and with the help of several exercise balls, one of which met its demise that day, one plastic football ring, and three plastic McDonald's toys, we had a jolly good time. How we managed to pop the ball with absolutely nothing else in the room is pondersome.

Some entertaining phrases that were exchanged: The little boy to me, "You get the big blue ball because you're big." This is something you never say to a woman. "Are you a teenager or a grownup?" I took this one as a compliment.

Thanks, Facebook!

If you're a member of Facebook, you know that on the right panel there are "Friend Suggestions." A lot of the time these are people that you've gone to high school or college with, or sometimes they are friends of friends. I've always wondered exactly how they, being Facebook, come to make these suggestions as sometimes they are a little creepy.

Take today for example. Today I had two new friend suggestions. Both of them were guys I had been on blind dates with. Both of the dates were less than awesome. Both were guys I no longer talk to anymore.

How does Facebook know this? Big Brother, much? Needless to say, no, I don't want to be friends with these guys and I sincerely hope that the dozen other date rejects don't start showing up. I don't need to relive that again. So thanks, but no thanks, Facebook. I appreciate your suggestions...most of the time.

$30 Dip

Today I went to the grocery store to buy supplies for a new dip I'm trying for Thanksgiving. Per usual, I had to buy all the ingredients on the list and the grand total for this measly dip...$30! This better be some darn good dip!

Granted I don't cook much so I don't already have things like balsamic vinegar and cayenne pepper, but good gravy! This is exactly why I don't cook! If I have to spend $30 for every meal...or appetizer, no thank you. I'll stick to my $3 Lean Cuisines.

Tis the Season

Salvation Army bell ringers. Yes, they serve a purpose. I appreciate the good they are doing for the world, but at the same time I am not ashamed to admit they are driving me bananas! And it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

They are posted at every entrance to every store, everywhere. They ring their bell and give me that look like, "Shouldn't you be putting money in my little red pot?" Now let's be honest, I'm walking into a store to spend money, so I should be putting money into the pot, but I don't. There are so many of them if I gave to one, I'd feel obligated to give to them all. I enjoy the people who say, "I'll catch you on the way out." Right.

Now, let's say I gave $1 to every bell ringer I saw. I'd be broke before Thanksgiving! Giving a dime to them all would be more reasonable, but can you imagine the look of disdain I would receive as my change plinked into the bucket. I think once you donate you should receive a button saying, "I donated."

And then there are those times when you think you've made an escape and managed to find that one door that's unattended. You see the bucket, but there's no ringer, so you quickly park and make a mad dash for the door. But then, out of nowhere, the ninja bell ringer appears as though they've been lurking in the shadows waiting for you.

And the incessant ringing! Can't they just agree to ring once a minute? Instead of the constant ringing, ringing, ringing. I know, tell us how you really feel, right? I'm just saying.

Whew. I feel better. Thanks. Now I'm going to go get a 4th job so I can afford the Salvation Army. Happy Holidays!