Awkward!

So I'm walking into Target, my third one of the day (hey, when you're on a mission, you're on a mission!), when I approach the automatic doors. I'm being followed at an appropriate pace by a gentleman about my age and about three feet taller. I always use the automatic doors because, why not? As I come to these set of doors I fully expect them to open...automatically. Alas, they do not so I come face to face, literally, with the glass. Shortly thereafter, the man, fully expecting me to have gone through the doors seconds before, is now butt to face..er crotch... with me. We stand there for what feels like an entire minute maybe hoping that by some will of God the door will open, at which point I finally say the only thing that feels appropriate for this close encounter with both the door and each other, "Awk-ward." We giggle and step to the left to enter through the self-service set of doors. If you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

Wanted: Cat Whisperer

This is a 17 lb. cat. You will see from the photo that his favorite place to sleep is on the toilet. Granted it is one of the yucky ones with the cushions, but he barely fits his stocky self on there. Now, here's my beef with this situation: he craps next to the toilet, pees in the sink, yet sleeps on the toilet. Do you think if I leave the lid open he will use the toilet like a big boy? A la Jinxy?

Violation?

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart. In a miracle of miracles I was able to walk out with only a package of dental floss. This has never happened to me before. My measly purchase came to a grand total of $0.96. I handed over my dollar, thinking of where I could go next to spend the money I didn't end up spending at Wal-Mart. I had my wallet's change pocket unzipped and my hand open, ready to receive my change, when the clerk reached over my hand and placed my 4 cents directly into my wallet. This is weird, right? I should feel violated? Because I did. I laughed uncomfortably and answered no, I did not need a bag and left. This seems like something they should address in Wal-Mart etiquette.

Dental Orneriness

I was at the dentist earlier this week. I love my dentist and the dental hygienists who work there. One of the nice things about this place is that they give you the suction device to hold, so that you aren't sitting there, drowning in your own spit. But, let me ask you this...have you ever thought about, when their face is directly above yours and you're holding that suction, just sticking it to their face? Right up their nose? In their ear? I did. Think about it that is. I guess that's what happens when you go to the dentist after working with 12-year-olds all day long.

Words of Encouragement

I found this post-it in my pocket. Not sure where it came from or who wrote it, but I'm glad we are in agreement.

Making Something Out of Nothing

I babysit every Friday at Jazzercise. Doing so allows me to get my Jazzercise classes for free. Normally I only have two kids and they are very self-sufficient with the occasional sibling quarrel.

Yesterday I showed up and their mother, the instructor, said, "Good luck with that babysitting room." Hmmm. I entered the room and, you can see from the picture, good luck indeed.

They are remodeling our center and in the process, removed every single toy from the babysitting room. I guess they forgot that there was just the one more class before the weekend? Or maybe they just didn't care.

Luckily I only had the two kids and with the help of several exercise balls, one of which met its demise that day, one plastic football ring, and three plastic McDonald's toys, we had a jolly good time. How we managed to pop the ball with absolutely nothing else in the room is pondersome.

Some entertaining phrases that were exchanged: The little boy to me, "You get the big blue ball because you're big." This is something you never say to a woman. "Are you a teenager or a grownup?" I took this one as a compliment.

Thanks, Facebook!

If you're a member of Facebook, you know that on the right panel there are "Friend Suggestions." A lot of the time these are people that you've gone to high school or college with, or sometimes they are friends of friends. I've always wondered exactly how they, being Facebook, come to make these suggestions as sometimes they are a little creepy.

Take today for example. Today I had two new friend suggestions. Both of them were guys I had been on blind dates with. Both of the dates were less than awesome. Both were guys I no longer talk to anymore.

How does Facebook know this? Big Brother, much? Needless to say, no, I don't want to be friends with these guys and I sincerely hope that the dozen other date rejects don't start showing up. I don't need to relive that again. So thanks, but no thanks, Facebook. I appreciate your suggestions...most of the time.